


Soggy Biscuit

by ideation



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Come Eating, Comeplay, Kink Meme, M/M, Multi, i'm trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 11:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideation/pseuds/ideation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean suggests that they all play a game of Soggy Biscuit.  For some reason, they agree.</p><p>(for those unaware what Soggy Biscuit is: a group of guys stand around a biscuit masturbating until they ejaculate on it.  The last one to come has to eat the biscuit.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soggy Biscuit

“This is the most stupid -- ngh -- fucking thing you’ve ever suggested, Jean,” said Eren between gritted teeth. A single biscuit lay innocently on the floor of the barracks, blissfully unaware of the circle of teenage boys kneeling around it and jerking off frantically.

“Shut your goddamn mouth, Jaeger. I don’t want to hear you saying my name with your dick in your hand,” growled Jean.

Reiner groaned, either from exasperation or arousal, or both. “You seriously...can’t stop fighting...for two minutes?”

“D-don’t get in the middle of them, Rei -- mmm -- R-Reiner. It never helps…” Bertholdt swiped his thumb over the tip of his cock and bit his lip to stifle a moan.

“You all right there, Bertholdt? Gonna blow already?” laughed Connie breathlessly. His hand was moving so furiously that it made Eren wince and wonder how the boy wasn’t giving himself rug burn. Judging from the amount of precome leaking from the tip, though, it seemed to be working out just fine for Connie.

The boys fell silent after that, only their soft, broken moans and the damp sound of spit-slicked hands moving over hot flesh drifting through the empty room. Bertholdt was sweating profusely per usual, a couple drops rolling down the long bridge of his nose and plopping to the ground. Jean let out a strangled noise.

“Jesus, Bertholdt, you’re supposed to jizz on the biscuit, not sweat on it,” he said. Bertholdt flushed a deeper shade of red and Jean was forced to dodge Reiner’s elbow as it tried to jab him in the ribs. “What?! It’s the truth!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to--” began Reiner, but he was cut off by a high-pitched gasp to his right. Connie was hunched over, eyes squeezed tight and mouth hanging open as his cock twitched and spasmed in his hand. Most of his semen had managed to land on its intended target and the floor immediately around it, save for a stray glob that had wandered off-course and landed precariously close to Eren’s knee. Connie leaned back on his elbows, catching his breath with a satisfied grin.

“Have fun eating my jizz, losers,” he laughed, and everyone except Bertholdt glowered at him. 

“Okay, so you don’t have to eat this thing, but should the quick-comer really be gloating right now?” snapped Eren. Connie had the good grace to blush, but never stopped grinning.

“Hey, I really don’t care if I was first when the stakes are this high,” he said matter-of-factly, tucking himself back into his pants.

He had a point.

“I fucking hate you, Jean,” ground out Eren, swallowing hard as he pumped his cock a little quicker, bucking his hips slightly. 

“I told you not to say my name when you’re jerking off, Jaeger, do you not understand human speech?”

“Jean. Jean Kirschtein. Hey Jean, what was that you said again? You like hearing me say your name while I’m jerking it, Kirschtein? Jean, Jean, Jean --” Eren’s eyes were sparkling with mirth at the increasingly furious expression on Jean’s face, breath coming fast. He was close now, so close and he wanted to relish in the fact that he would be safe before Jean was, that Jean might have to endure the humiliation he so obviously intended for Eren.

He barely had time to aim before his orgasm hit, thick spurts of white coating the innocuous little square biscuit along with Connie’s contribution. He was about to comment smugly on the horrified look on Jean’s face when Reiner shuddered and came with a low, guttural grunt.

Bertholdt actually whined at the sight, digging his thumb into the weeping slit of his penis.

“Just you two now, huh?” Reiner muttered, unconcerned with the semen leaking onto his pants from the tip of his softening member. He leaned back, watching Jean and Bertholdt’s movements grow increasingly frantic.

“I’m going to fucking kill you if you come before me, Bertl, I swear,” growled Jean, pausing to spit into his hand and resume his stroking. Bertholdt looked like he was about to cry, forehead shiny with sweat and cheeks so red it was a wonder there was enough blood left to keep him erect. “I’m gonna kill you, I’m gonna beat the shit out of you, so don’t you dare--”

“I wouldn’t finish that sentence, Jean,” chuckled Reiner. “Otherwise he’s gonna blow his load first.”

Connie’s elbow gave out and he shouted in pain as his head connected solidly with the floor; Eren cleared his throat awkwardly and Jean and Bertholdt had identical horrified expressions.

“I didn’t need to know that about you, oh my god--” choked Jean, pumping himself furiously. “Fuck, fuck, this game was a mistake, fuck--”

He came with a loud, choked-off groan, actually missing the biscuit at first in his haste to simply get off. A triumphant grin tugged at the corner of Jean’s mouth as he sat down heavily, slouching in hazy relief and tucking himself back into his pants. Bertholdt covered his mouth to stifle his high, broken moans, eyes shut tightly as he jerked himself erratically. Eren almost felt sorry for him.

“C’mon, Bertl, ya gotta keep your eyes on the prize,” said Connie, who’d recovered enough to prop himself back up. Bertholdt whimpered and complied with the suggestion. “Don’t wanna be like Jean and miss the thing entirely, right?”

“Shut up Connie, I didn’t miss it entirely--”

“Your come is halfway across the damn floor, thank God you don’t have to kill Titans with your dick or you’ll be the first one eaten,” retorted Connie. Jean turned red and sputtered incoherently while Eren snickered.

“G-guys, enough, I-- ngh,” gasped Bertholdt, a soft stream of what might have been profanity slipping through his fingers as he finally came, adding his load to the thoroughly defiled biscuit on the floor. His chest heaved as he rode out his orgasm, the last weak spurts of semen dripping down his cock and onto his hand. Reiner had the audacity to clap.

“Fuck’s sake, Reiner, if you’re gonna do something with your hands then use them to put your dick away,” said Jean grumpily. Reiner grinned and flipped him off. “All right, Bertholdt, you lose! You have to eat the soggy biscuit.”

“Soggy biscuit! Soggy biscuit!” chanted Eren and Connie, grinning like madmen. Bertholdt looked highly uncomfortable as he picked up the flat little square carefully, trying his best not to squish the -- indeed, incredibly soggy -- cracker. He stared at it as though it were a spider instead of a biscuit dripping God-only-knew-whose semen onto his hand. Everyone’s eyes were fixed on him expectantly and Bertholdt gulped, looking at Jean imploringly.

“Jean, do I really have to?”

“Yes! Those are the rules, Bertl. C’mon, hurry it up so we can clean up this mess already,” said Jean snappily. Bertholdt nodded and took a deep breath, tilting his head back as he shoved the entire thing in his mouth. Connie cheered as Bertholdt chewed briefly, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed everything down with some difficulty. The tip of his tongue flicked out to lick at the corner of his mouth, where he’d accidentally smeared a bit of the come from his fingers. Jean looked equal parts disgusted and amazed.

“So?” he demanded, and Bertholdt started in surprise and turned red again. “Was it gross?”

“I-I…I mean it...didn’t taste...that bad…” he squeaked, hiding his face in his hands. Jean looked thoroughly scandalized.

“Fuck, man, if I’d known you’d get off on it…”

“Because the guy who suggests we all masturbate over a fucking biscuit has nothing to hide, right,” snorted Eren. He yelled when Jean smacked him upside the head and the two promptly busied themselves tussling and hurling profanities while Connie watched lazily. Reiner finally put his cock away and grinned at Bertholdt, jerking his head towards the door.

“C’mon, let’s get outta here, huh?” he said. Bertholdt nodded and stood a bit unsteadily, looking over himself to ensure he looked halfway presentable. Jean stopped pulling Eren’s hair long enough to look over his shoulder and see the two about to slip away. 

“Hah? No way, you guys get back over here and help us clean this up, you assholes.”

Reiner snorted. “No way, right back at you. Bertl just had to gulp down the semen of four different guys, plus his own, and out of us all I made the least mess because my hand-dick coordination doesn’t suck. So we’ll just be on our merry way, OK? Have fun.” He gave a mock salute and continued pushing a flustered Bertholdt towards the door, closing it behind them with an impudent click.

Eren pushed Jean off of him roughly and rubbed at his sore scalp, not sure what to say to break the increasingly uncomfortable silence.

“So, like, did Reiner just totally get off watching his boyfriend eat our come?” said Connie casually.

Jean groaned.

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god I didn't even mean to write this when I first saw the kink meme prompt but then it was all I could think about
> 
> This is how I break into the world of SNK fic-writing good lord I'm trash don't look at me
> 
> the kink meme thread where I originally posted this is here: http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/2848.html?thread=3370784#cmt3370784


End file.
